This is it.

I have a favorite movie- Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. I love it to point of memorizing lines, a habit making it annoying to watch with me. I mention this because there is a moment that truly sealed the deal for me. The general plot, for those who haven't seen it, is the story of a breakup. Joel and Clementine have a tumultuous relationship and after a torrid fight, they break up. Clementine participates in a procedure that erases every memory she has of Joel. Subsequently, Joel finds out what she did and wants the same procedure preformed on him. Long story short, the memories are erased in reverse order form the drunken fight leading to the breakup to the initial meeting. Half way through, Joel trudges through the good and the bad memories. In the end, he no longer wants to erase Clementine even though he is heartbroken the memories are cherished. This is where my favorite part comes into play.

It is the initial moment Joel meets Clementine. In a shift from how the meeting actually occured, the present Clementine tells Joel:

Clementine: This is it, Joel. It's going to be gone soon.
Joel: I know.
Clementine: What do we do?
Joel: Enjoy it.

I say this because- this is it. I'm on my way and not matter what happens, I better enjoy. It'll all be over too soon and I'll be left with memories, photos and possibly a parasite (but let's hope not).

I'm currently flying to L.A. for my first of two layovers. I'll be traveling for almost 24-hours, from Portland to Los Angeles, Seoul and, lastly, Kathmandu. I've spent months preparing for this trip. Trying my best to complete every meticulous detail of every aspect of my life. Six months away is something I never thought twice about. No big deal, catch you on the flip side with awesome stories and pictures most who weren't there will never want to see. But this time is different, more challenging and heart-wrenching. Maybe it's because I've experienced a great deal of loss and transition this year. Maybe it's because I'm getting too damn old to drop everything and leave. Maybe it's because I have many reasons to stay. Either way, I can honestly say I am excited for the experience and terrified of what I am leaving behind. I miss my cat. I miss my boyfriend. I miss my friends. I miss my family. I have missed these things for weeks before I even left. I hope that mitigates the longing while I am away.

I can say I feel lighter now that I am on the plane. If it's not done, it's not getting done. I tried my best to contact everyone so I could to tell them goodbye and if I missed you, I'm sorry. I finally have no distractions. No chances of getting one last little task done. I can devote all my attention to what is ahead of me. Treating patients. Coming up with lesson plans. Trekking. Helping people. Fantasizing about spending my birthday, which is several months away, on a beach or surrounded by monkeys. I'm off, let the adventure begin. This is it! Enjoy!