The end is the beginning.

When I was little I loved the last day of school. The excitement from the completion of another year, the sheer  anticipation of three whole months of nothing, the sound of Alice Cooper's "School's Out" always playing on my radio. College graduation was equally exciting, with feelings of pride and accomplishment thrown in the mix and topped off with several nights of heavy drinking. Ah, the days of a quick recovery from too much booze. I do miss those days. With undergrad I was scared of entering the real world, but maintained an idealistic stance that anything was possible. Then Hurricane Katrina happened and nothing seemed possible. My path took several turns, most of which were completely unexpected and truly amazing. I can gladly say I spent my 20s sometimes aimless, sometimes driven, but mostly doing what I wanted as I saw fit. 

This year, not only did I turn 30, but I'm also graduating from a demanding masters program. Life as I have known it will never be the same. The last three years have been humbling, uplifting, torturous and at times joyful. I certainly did not have nearly as much fun as I did in my formative educational years. I feel like I am waiting for it all to sink in. The debt owed. The uncertainty of my future. The endless to-do lists running through my head. I feel preoccupied with the immediate tasks of fundraising, preparing to leave the country, filing out paperwork and writing checks for licensing. After Nepal I am going to SE Asia for three months to relax, see some cool sights, eat some exotic foods and recover. But what about right now? Am I missing it? Is it all passing me by? The magnitude of what has been accomplished is lost on me. I mentally checked out from school weeks ago. I've devoted the little free time I've had scheming on ways to ask people for money, a task which takes me miles from my comfort zone but has prepared me (a little) for becoming a small business owner. I'm preparing for the next step but terrified to take it. 

This week I'm trying to stay in the moment. It's challenging. There is a little voice in the back kicking up a stink about things I should be doing, but I am choosing to ignore it. Right now, for as long a possible, I am focused on this great achievement. I encourage all of you who are graduating with me to do the same. Let's relish in this for just a second, then continue on with that pesky to-do list.